hello kitty, not

My evil plot to take over the world continues apace. In an effort to weaken my humans, I have decided to wail outside their bedroom door every morning at 4:00 am. After a few weeks of this behavior, they will almost certainly give in to my demands.

I am also determined to weaken them economically. I will therefore refuse to eat the very smelly and very expensive special diet food that they have purchased from the veterinarian. And I will try my best to spit out the tiny pills they force down my throat every evening. Luckily for me, the pills tend to crumble once they have been ejected from my mouth.

I will look cute and innocent when I greet them each morning, presenting my belly to be rubbed. When I have lulled them into a false sense of security, I will unleash fangs and claws.

There will be blood.

I will continue my daily effort to add to their discomfort by shredding the furniture, and depositing copious amounts of hair over every available surface.

Finally, I will test the limits of my multi-cat-formula litter. Surely with a little application, I will be able to overwhelm the anti-odor formulation, and scatter it across the floor as well.

Soon the world will be mine.

I first posted this early in 2010 on my decorating blog, Little Red House. I'm reposting it here as a part of iheartfaces' Pet Faces contest. Click on the iheartfaces button to visit their fabulous website.