Monday, December 13, 2010

hello kitty, not



My evil plot to take over the world continues apace. In an effort to weaken my humans, I have decided to wail outside their bedroom door every morning at 4:00 am. After a few weeks of this behavior, they will almost certainly give in to my demands.

I am also determined to weaken them economically. I will therefore refuse to eat the very smelly and very expensive special diet food that they have purchased from the veterinarian. And I will try my best to spit out the tiny pills they force down my throat every evening. Luckily for me, the pills tend to crumble once they have been ejected from my mouth.

I will look cute and innocent when I greet them each morning, presenting my belly to be rubbed. When I have lulled them into a false sense of security, I will unleash fangs and claws.

There will be blood.

I will continue my daily effort to add to their discomfort by shredding the furniture, and depositing copious amounts of hair over every available surface.

Finally, I will test the limits of my multi-cat-formula litter. Surely with a little application, I will be able to overwhelm the anti-odor formulation, and scatter it across the floor as well.

Soon the world will be mine.


I first posted this early in 2010 on my decorating blog, Little Red House. I'm reposting it here as a part of iheartfaces' Pet Faces contest. Click on the iheartfaces button to visit their fabulous website.


14 comments:

Shannon1971 said...

Great photo! The EYES! O-o And great "tutorial" to go along w/ kitty! HA!

Quiet-Mom.com said...

Heh heh - oh boy can we relate! Love it!

Crystal said...

hahahaha...that is freaking hilarious! Nice shot of your kitty...love the light in her eyes :)

Kitty said...

:D I think cats are amazing - but that is probably because I have never had to live with one!

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Oh my!!!! Oh it's, it's BOOOTSIE.

My cat. They must be in cat-hoots.

LOL.

What is with them and the 4 am wakeup calls?

Best thing I read today.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

Mary said...

Jen -- glad to know I'm not the only one getting that 4 am wake-up call! lol

thanks, everyone! :)

WhatKarenSees said...

I am looking at this photo and I'm sure that's exactly what this diva is thinking. So funny!!!!!!

Country Girl said...

Hilarious! (And a great photo, to boot).

Susan said...

Oh my gosh, how incredibly funny. I have four of them, I so understand what you're going through. We get serenaded at around 4 a.m. too. Love his face. It says it all. Great photo!

Totally enjoyed your post today. Thanks for the laugh,
Susan @ CluckleBees

Lisa RedWillow said...

I adore that face. He is a darling Mary. I have such a big heart for cats.
Im guessing your the same

Kerri said...

What a sweet face :) Love the narrative!

Katy Noelle said...

You need a dog!

(or, has kitty amended it's ways?)

btw, do you know Ashley Sisk's cat? oh, hahahahaha!

Oliag said...

I don't remember reading this before so I sure am glad that you reposted this....I do love cats:)!

e.o.w. said...

"chuckle..."
Cats are simply delightful. Great post!